We didn’t rush through them this time.
***
The following morning, I woke up early.
For a second, I didn’t know why, because I still had two weeks’ leave from work. Then I saw one of Lily’s letters on my nightstand.
“Open when you can’t get out of bed.”
I picked it up and read her lovely morning message, wishing me a productive and happy day.
Then I set it back down.
“I’m getting up,” I whispered.
And I did.
I picked it up and read her lovely morning message.
***
Lily’s former school looked the same.
I walked in, heart pounding.
Karen at the front desk looked up.
“Mrs. Carter…”
“I’m here to see the librarian,” I said.
“Of course, just sign in, and you may proceed.”
***
When I reached the library, a few students sat scattered around.
And then I saw her.
A girl in the corner, alone, with her hood up.
I walked in, heart pounding.
I felt slightly dizzy when I realized that the girl was wearing the same gray hoodie Lily used to wear.
Something shifted, and this time, I didn’t hesitate.
I walked over.
“Hey,” I said gently.
She looked up, startled.
“Hi…”
“Mind if I sit?”
She shrugged. “Okay.”
I sat across from her.
“What are you reading?”
She glanced down. “Nothing important.”
I felt slightly dizzy.
I nodded. “Those are usually the best ones.”
She smiled a little.
And just like that, something started blooming.
It seemed Lily’s promise to herself was that she would prepare me for life after she was gone… without letting me know she’d accepted that reality.
And for the first time since losing her, I wasn’t stuck in the silence anymore.
